Ivy’s Vine

A Bad Time for Tech Support

September 23rd, 2009

This is the woven bath cloth and soap sack kit from the Unique Sheep.

This is also sanity-saving knitting. I was doing this project while going through my annual anatomical maintenance program.  My doctor is quite happy with my blood pressure, and I really think knitting is a huge part of why it’s so good.  So the doctor poked me, measured me, and stabbed me with a needle.  Then he sent me for a routine mammogram.  There was no cause other than it’s a good precaution to test, so off to the test I went.

If you’ve never had a mammogram, it runs something like this.  You can’t wear deodorant or any powder or lotion on the day of the test, which is kind of nasty and guaranteed to put most women in a bad mood to start.  You then stand shirtless next to a huge glass vice.  The technician positions your delicate breast onto one pane of glass and then makes a sandwich with the other.  The unit then squeezes until you’re pretty sure the entire thing is about to pop like a balloon.  An X-ray is taken, the vice releases, and you do the other side.

Then they do the sideways view.  In this they turn the whole thing perpendicular to the floor and have to squeeze tighter “to support the breast”.  Now I don’t know how heavy other women’s breasts are, but the first way is tight enough to keep a well-oiled ox from slipping.  It doesn’t need to be tighter.

So there I was, half-naked, breast in a clamp, when the technician decides to ask, “Why is the computer doing that?”  I’m perfectly willing to help out with any technical issues, but she really picked a pretty poor time to ask.  I mean really, I coudn’t turn around to look at her screen anyway, and the situation wasn’t that conductive to concentration.  Did she really expect me to say, “Hit ctrl-alt-del and go into device manager.  By the way, should the skin be turning such a dark shade of blue?”

I have no idea why her computer was acting up.  Once I got all my body parts free, I ran.

Entry Filed under: Computers, Knitting